In the town of Roermond, the Netherlands, there is a pair of graves in The Old Roermond Cemetery, separated by a brick wall but connected by two hands that link them. The grave has become something of a tourist attraction, and is even listed on Trip Advisor. It has captured the public imagination because its origin is, simply put, a love story.
In the 19th century, society in the Netherlands was strictly religiously segregated. Protestants and Catholics did not just worship in their own churches, but went to different schools, shopped at different businesses, and were buried in different cemeteries. Interfaith marriage was very taboo.
Despite these circumstances, Colonel J.C.P.H of Aeffderson and J.W.C Van Gorkum were married in 1842. Aeffderson was a Protestant and Van Gorkum was a Catholic, as well as a noblewoman. The couple faced public disapproval, but they remained married for 40 years.
When Aeffderson died, he was buried in the Protestant section of the cemetery. When his wife died eight years later, she wanted to be buried with him, but this was legally prohibited. However, her grave was placed as close to his as possible, connected by hands reaching over the wall separating them.
This story serves as a reminder that there have always been societal restrictions around relationships and love, but that love endures, despite persecution based on faith, class, race, gender, and sexual orientation.
Citations
Hong, Oliver. “The Linked Headstones of Two Lovers Who Refused to Let Go, Even in Death.” Atlas Obscura. May 19, 2013. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/gravestones-that-refuse-to-let-go.
Ryan, George. “The Sad Story Behind This Catholic “Grave Of Eternal Love.” uCatholic. December 13, 2022. https://ucatholic.com/blog/the-sad-story-behind-this-catholic-grave-of-eternal-love/.
Photo credit: memolands.com gallery via Flickr